Ending Relationships: Moving On

Ending relationships is always difficult and there are many reasons why this occurs. Understandably there are also many different lengths of time that a relationship has gone on before it gets to the end. There are some people that have been in a relationship for many years and other times they will have only been together for a few months. No matter how long the relationship has been established, there are still certain things that are true for every relationship that will end.

The ending of a relationship will impact upon both people. There will be hurt and have a wide range of emotions. To get to this point it really doesn’t matter who is at fault, it is going to change both parties. Both parties will be emotionally drained for a long period of time. The people involved may not have any desire to be around well meaning family or even friends. When a relationship ends, whether good or bad, may result in depression. For others it leaves people angry and hostile over the issue for a length of time. Each is blaming the other person or something has happened that ended the relationship that has made them angry. No matter what has happened within the relationship the raw emotions need to be dealt with.

While this is happening its not a good idea to try to jump into a new relationship right after a relationship has ended. Saying this though many people have this approach and do so. Why do they do this so soon?  It’s because they have gotten used to having someone in their life. They see it as having a void in their lives and do not know what to do about it. In earnest they try to find another partner to fill that void. But what they do not realize is this pattern is destructive. To do this type of behavior is unfair to the other person that they are pulling into their negative pattern.

Without realizing it they are offering a false sense of themselves. They are pretending that they are in the relationship for the relationship. The other person is oblivious that they are just a stepping-stone and they have no real idea that there is anything else going on. In some cases, the two people are not compatible with each other and they end up in a very bad situation.

Over time they will not stay together and the relationship will completely break down. For the person that was using the relationship is now empty and alone once again and in most cases they are much more emotional and hurt than they were before they started.

The particular circumstances surrounding the relationship will factor into everything and determine how a relationship ends. If it was simply dating, then it will end easier than if it was a live in situation or if there were children involved. There are no specific rules about relationships and dating.

Also there are no specific rules about how each relationship will end. Each persons relationship, and every life has its own dynamics and ideals. When a break up is mutual and due simply to the fact that the people are not compatible, it can be a whole lot easier to end the relationship and keep things on good terms. Where there are issues that have caused the relationship to deteriorate on the part of one person, then the relationship is much more likely to end in a bad way and with anger that can last a long time.

The best way forward is to see a counselor that specializes in relationships who can offer you help and give you the tools to mend and move forward.  This step is necessary to clean the slate, deal with the past in order to have a future with no excess baggage you would carry into any new relationship.